It was June 1996 that the Spice Girls burst onto the scene with their debut song Wannabe, full of hope and enthusiasm for their unique brand of “Girl Power”. They were so successful that they truly went viral globally at a time when the internet was not yet available to most people and the term “viral” was linked to chickenpox and the like, rather than a social media phenomenon.
Now let’s be honest, Victoria was the odd one out in the group. She couldn’t sing, couldn’t dance and was awkward in interviews. But she was an equal part of the group which to coin a phrase was always greater than the sum of its parts and is now by far the most successful of the Spice Girls with a net worth of over ten times that of any of the other girls. So did it matter that she was the “weak link”?
You can probably see where I am going with this analogy. In many ways Victoria will be seen as the “weak link” in a group of her peers. She is socially awkward, has poor motor skills, cannot predict and pre-empt and struggles with spoken instruction. Yet we will soon be heading out to training with the FC Sutton Dynamo girls who together are bringing their own brand of “Girl Power” to football 26 years after Posh and co gave us theirs. What she lacks in skill she more than makes up for in enthusiasm and dedication and these are the traits that will take her far in life.
We are unsure what the future will hold for Victoria, but then we don’t know what’s in store for any of us. The last couple of years have taught us not to plan too much because you never know what’s around the corner. As I mentioned in a previous post, it’s easy, in fact natural, to dwell on the negatives of autism and focus on the things Victoria cannot do. But we try to stay tuned in the what she can and will achieve. We don’t know whether she will have a career, marry and have children of her own; on paper all of these things we take for granted are statistically unlikely. But it really doesn’t matter. Her happiness and health are the only important factors, and that should be the same for all of us. As regards the rest of it – what will be will be.
I do have a lot of hope though as I know what a person with autism brings to the table. I’m generalising here, but those on the spectrum are loyal, honest and dedicated to a task – aren’t these traits all business want in their staff? They bring a different perspective to any challenge and diversity – all types of diversity – in a team is A Good Thing. Victoria may struggle in a job interview where the expectation is to sit still, control your body language and give good eye contact – 3 things V struggles with massively. But in this world of remote working and Zoom interviews that becomes less of a barrier. As does the challenge of packing onto a tube train with thousands of other people – something we all want to see an end to!
So what does need to change in order to give Victoria and those like her the best opportunities in life? I will end with a few thoughts:
- Normalise the abnormal. That’s what all of these posts are about. There was a time when the “speccy kid” with NHS glasses would stand out in class as being different yet now you’re almost in the minority if you don’t wear glasses. The more we see difference the less it is important so let’s embrace it.
- Make small adjustments. It doesn’t take a lot for Victoria to feel included and I’ve mentioned many examples over the past 25 days.
- Don’t deliberately exclude. You never know the benefits that will be realised by including people who are different to the norm. I am lucky enough to have someone with autism on my team at work who works in a different but complimentary way to the rest of the team and can complete tasks with enthusiasm and tenacity that the rest of us struggle with.
So here we are at Z. The end of the ABC of Autism. I just want to end by saying a massive thank you for everyone that has read, liked, commented on and supported these posts. When I decided to start the ABC of Autism on Facebook last month I had no idea where it would go so the response has been amazing. A lot of people have said I shouldn’t just leave it at these 26 Facebook posts… and I haven’t! The autismDAD website and this blog were created off the back of these comments to keep the conversation going in order to keep raising #autismawareness.