“All children should attend a school that is right for them”. It’s not something I considered as a child until my dad made the statement when we were trying to find the right secondary school for me. Growing up on a council estate in the 1980s there was only ever one choice of primary school for kids – the nearest one. Most families like ours didn’t have cars so walking to school was the norm and I guess it was felt that the local primary school, wherever it was, would provide a suitable basic education for your child regardless of their needs. And there’s the small fact that “their needs” were probably not very well understood back then so the child with autism would simply be the “different”, “odd” or “disruptive” kid, or the “geek” of course.
Our experience of choosing a school only started when I was approaching the end of my primary school days. My parents knew, as did I, that I wouldn’t thrive at the local comprehensive so we started looking for alternatives only to be knocked back for being “outside the catchment area”, a concept that doesn’t really exist in the same way today. My headmaster at the time suggested that I take the 11 plus and try to get in to one of the grammar schools in the area so that is what we did. And I failed at the first attempt! Now I am sure St Olave’s is a fantastic school full of the brightest students taught by the most talented scholars, certainly it was usually in the top 10 or so schools in the UK at the time, but with the benefit of hindsight I am glad I didn’t make the grade. I went on to take the entrance exam for “Chis n Sid” and this time I passed and I am certain I ended up in a school that was more “right for me” than St Olave’s would have been. Academically I was extremely average as “Chis n Sid” but the lessons and expectation seemed about right for me – not too hard that I couldn’t keep up and not too easy that I became bored. And from this I left with a great set of GCSEs that put me on the path to where I am today which is very much thanks to the diligent advice from Mr Barlow and the pushiness of my parents getting me into “the right school”.
So it is absolutely no surprise that I live by this mantra. Whether it be in the workplace, social activities or in school, if you’re not in the right place you can’t be expected to thrive.
However, going to look at a potential new school for Victoria left me conflicted. Victoria loves going to school, her friends there and her teachers. When looking for a primary school for her 5 years ago the school we chose for her felt “right” in a way in which our nearest primary school (just a few minutes walk from home) didn’t. However, what it right for a 4 year old who is just a normal little girl isn’t necessarily right for an 8 year old with autism, struggling to keep up with her peers and finding each school day a challenge, regardless of how much she loves it. Seeing if another school might be better suited to Victoria was the right thing to do, but I hated the thought of doing so for one reason and one reason only; the school we were looking at was a Special Needs school.
Victoria’s EHCP was coming up for its first annual review and we knew we should see what other schools have to offer, yet I dragged my feet looking into this. Although I know Victoria is different, I am proud of who she is and promote her autism as much as possible (it’s her superpower after all, not a disability), sending your child to special school is another one of those things other people do. It sounds awful but we all have these preconceived ideas about “special needs” and it’s still a term I am uncomfortable using in reference to Victoria. She’s special, of course, but special needs… yep, she is, but it still doesn’t feel right or even real sometimes.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking” said Becs as we drove past a line of coaches, buses and taxis waiting to collect children from the special needs school in our village. I was. I was thinking I wanted all this to go away and for Victoria to stay at her mainstream comprehensive and thrive and be brilliant and not… special needs. We take Victoria to school and pick her up like most parents do and like mine did for me, so I really didn’t relish the idea of doing something so different for Victoria. Something that would make her stand out. She didn’t need the “special bus”.
We continued our journey to our school visit 15 minutes down the M20 with me going way under the speed limit. The slower I drove the longer it would take for this visit to occur. And maybe we would be too late for our appointment and things could just carry on as they were. My head was so far in the sand I couldn’t breathe.
Annoyingly we arrived early, despite me deliberately missing the entrance to the school and taking a 10 minute detour. I chose a parking spot where I could see the kids leaving to jump in their taxis and buses home. “That one looks normal” I said to myself. “And that one”. In fact, all these kids seemed pretty similar to the kids in V’s class today. Sure, there were signs of autism which are very apparent when you live and breathe it every day, but apart from the boy walking out on his tiptoes, there was nothing that would mark any of these kids out as being different to anyone else. Yet they all had autism. Becs was thinking the same. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all…
The welcome was warm and inviting from the head who would be showing us around, which quickly settled any nerves we may have had. And I was nervous. This felt like a massive step towards a massive decision we would need to make that would have a massive effect on the rest of Victoria’s life. It’s not often we have to make truly life-changing decisions but we were definitely getting close to one of those times. Part of me still wanted to hate the place so I didn’t have to make this decision, but as time went on that seemed less and less likely.
We spent a number of hours at the school that day alongside alongside a handful of other parents in similar positions to us. Becs and I came away with a very positive feeling; these people “got it”. It wasn’t just the obvious passion the staff had for their school but it was that their whole ethos was exactly what we want for Victoria – for her to ultimately lead a fulfilling and independent life and that with the right education in the right environment there is no reason why this cannot happen. And this felt like the right environment where the effort put into the “little things” felt phenomenal; classrooms that look the same with a similar layout, plain walls and techniques to reduce outside distractions. Sensory areas and other places for children to regulate their anxiety. Visual timetables so the children can easily know what is expected of them next. Lockers instead of coat pegs so nobody can accidentally knock your coat off which could well ruin the day for a child with autism who expects things to be “just so”. There were dozens of “by the way” examples of how they have adapted this school to help children with autism be their best self. By getting the little things right for children with autism, their focus can be maintained on their education which is of course the primary reason for going to school. And the education at this school isn’t too dissimilar from what you would expect at mainstream; the subjects are broadly the same and taught to the same levels and by teachers with the same qualifications and experience that you’d expect to find in any school. Sure, the lessons are tailored to meet the needs of those with autism, and tailored again to get the best outcomes for people of different abilities, much like streaming attempts to do in mainstream education, but the curriculum felt “normal”.
In fact, this whole school quickly felt normal. It may be a special school but it felt like it could quickly become normal for Victoria, and us, were she able to take a place there in the future.
To be continued…
This brings back some memories for me with our two. I too thought that a severe and profound special needs school would be too different but I soon saw the passion and just how much effort was made to make everyone feel included.
The staff had patience in abundance and it was only when I became a parent governor that I saw just how hard it was to keep this going.
There were good and bad staff as with all places of work but the drive to help the children succeed was very clear.
Special needs schools have changed so much in my short time with them and they continue to need to evolve.
My only advice to any parent is that schools are a two way thing and you need to make yourself available and be included to help your own child.
Education is sadly only a short part of their life but for most the best.