The English language is a funny old thing. If anyone has gone through phonics with their kids you will know that children learn to read words through the sounds the letters make. Every word sounds exactly as it is spelt, except for those that don’t, and those you “just have to know”. To make matters worse, the meaning of words and phrases changes over time. When I was at school there were coloured kids and those in the special school nearby were spastics, 2 phrases we wouldn’t dream of using today as the language has evolved but which were commonplace not that long ago.
As a nation we get very hung up on this sort of thing. “Political correctness gawn maaaad innit?”. But here’s my simple take on things: if you don’t intend to cause offence then none should be taken. Simple as that. We are all human and most of us don’t intentionally set out to upset others but sometimes we might get the language wrong, especially when discussing a subject that is difficult or alien to us.
So it is unsurprising that I often see friends and family tiptoeing around some of the words they use when we are talking about Victoria. I’ve already said that I never refer to Victoria as “autistic” but instead that she “has autism”. But that’s just my preference. I won’t be offended if you call her autistic so don’t be worried about using the term.
Likewise the “N” word. No… the other “N” word! “Normal”. It is absolutely fine to describe children without a learning disability as “Normal” because in the strictest sense of the term they are the norm, the majority, what we expect to be usual. If you want to be PC about it then the term is “Neurotypical”, but that isn’t easy to drop into a sentence. So “Normal” is fine.
However, here is where our beloved language seems designed to trip you up. If all the other kids are normal then Victoria must be “abnormal” right? Hmmm… I don’t like that at all and just the thought of someone saying it to or about V is making me angry. But it doesn’t make logical sense and unless done deliberately it’s not something I am going to dwell on. The correct term at present is “neurodiverse”, which doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue.
We all know how powerful the language we use can be, the emotions it can stir and the upset it can cause. But we all have far more to worry about than whether someone has used the currently-correct term for something or not so let’s not get hung up on it.