I’ve said before that you learn a lot on this journey and “stimming” is another thing I’d never heard of 3 years ago but is just part of our vocabulary these days. Stimming is the repeated and unusual movements and sounds people with autism make to cope with emotional and overwhelming situations. And when you witness it for the first time it can be quite worrying.
Victoria began stimming long before her diagnosis. In fact, from the moment she could sit up unaided she began rocking. And often the rocking was pretty violent, throwing herself back against a wall or the bars of her cot, banging her head in the process. We spoke to professionals who told us that lots of babies and toddlers do this, and she should grow out of it by 18 months. We convinced herself it was just a carry over from when she used to bounce herself in her bouncer chair and she would soon stop it. But she never did. Even to this day Victoria will rock in her seat if she is feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Apart from a full-blown meltdown it is about the only visual clue we have that V is struggling. Thankfully it is nowhere near as violent now as it used to be, so we have no concerns with letter her continue to rock to calm herself down (unlike when she was younger and we had to pad the wall behind her with a cushion or similar to stop her hurting herself).
Although we never try to stop Victoria’s stimming as it is her mechanism for controlling her emotions, we have sometimes asked her if she is aware that she is doing it, or why she is doing it, but this just draws a blank. So my conclusion is that she is not aware that she is doing it at the time, and after cannot explain why she was rocking back and forth in her seat like a little old lady on a rocking chair. But this isn’t really surprising when you consider that stimming isn’t restricted to people with autism – we all stim to varying degrees and for similar reasons. If you bite your fingernails, fiddle with your hair, tap a pencil, jiggle your foot… these are all stimming activities you do without even realising it unless someone mentions it to you.
So stimming isn’t a sign of autism, but extreme stimming in young children can be.
I mentioned in a previous post that there are far more than the 5 human senses we all know of. The Vestibular sense is our sense of balance, and is what allows us to move without falling over. It is possible that Victoria’s rocking comes from her need to stimulate this sense which also explains why she will spend the whole time in a playground on one thing: the swing. It’s pretty much all she’s ever been interested in when we take her to a park so I’m sure the 2 are connected.
Stimming can occur when a child is overstimulated as it gives them one thing to focus on (rocking) when there is a lot of other sensory input happening (loud or multiple noises, bright lights etc). It can also happen when there isn’t enough stimulation; rooms adapted for children with autism and similar are often devoid of pictures, bright lights and colour to prevent overstimulation, but this can have the adverse effect in some. As we’ve learnt over the past 3 years, the rules to autism are not set in stone and what applies to one person will be the complete opposite for another.
Another of Victoria’s stims is hand-flapping. I’ve mentioned before that when she is overwhelmed with sensory input she holds her breath and her hands can flap uncontrollably – this is a form of stimming and her most visual stim when out in public. And here is where social acceptance comes in. I mentioned before that those with autism use an enormous amount of energy trying to fit in by masking their autism, which leads to increased stress and anxiety requiring more energy to regulate. It’s a vicious circle that will only be broken if these children are allowed to be themselves. So a couple of requests…
Firstly, teach your children that everyone is different and this is fine. I am convinced that we have a mental health timebomb coming in our young generation being brought up through COVID, war and goodness knows what else. If kids can be themselves and are comfortable talking about their thoughts and feelings it can only make things better for all in the long run.
And secondly, don’t ever try to suppress a stim unless it is for the safety of a child. I am aware of teachers for example that take away a child’s rubber band or piece of blu-tac as “they shouldn’t be fiddling in class”. Says who? Would you prefer an obedient little robot who isn’t learning because of the enormous pressure they are under to hide their anxiety, or a happy child learning in the classroom, albeit it doing something innocent and non-disruptive to protect their emotions?
As always, it takes next to no effort to be a little more accommodating and the impact is hugely positive.
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